Pick your perfect

I've been thinking..

2004-04-30T15:46:40Z

The road ends here:

Join the Black and White Parade.

2004-04-19T10:48:57Z

We're dwelling in a multi-colorful, high expectational world of mixtures and designs. You're labeled by your color, name, or contents like a bowl of soup.

I wanna live in the black and white days in a Casa Blanca while leaving it to Beaver to clean up all the M.A.S.H. Everybody's treated the same, and no one worries about their makeup, hair, or clothes. In the black and white world, rainbows never fly high. Flags of sexual preference aren't flown; nobody cares either way. Everybody's loved. Let's runaway to the BW days.

Because you loved me..

2004-04-03T02:35:03Z

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream that you made true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Oohh..

What Would Kermit Do?

2004-03-31T23:07:07Z

I've decided to go back to that church of God or Christ, whatever it is, tonight. I wanna see what all the commotion is about at Old Path. Besides, it's not like I'm really missing much at my church. The youth group has kind of died to the extent of simply gossiping rather than actually learning. I'm 17, and as a 17 year old youth member of my church I feel deprived. You know, they always say..if you want it done correctly, do it yourself. So I'm going to Old Path.

Last night at Campus Life, the moderator(?) asked me if I'd be willing to serve as a student advisor for the new Lanett branch of Campus Life he wants to start up. At the moment, I'm going to the Springwood sessions. I'm not TOO out of place there. At least I know Alex, and besides..this group keeps it small. The only thing is, I wonder if he did indeed start it if anyone would show from Lanett, other than me. It's something to shoot for I guess. Kinda like an off campus FCAS. Could be successful *shrugs*

You know what I found out? The key to gettin' rid of loneliness is to cut your hair. Yep.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-30T06:57:00

2004-03-30T11:59:43Z

Who will you be stuck with at end of time? by chi_a_baidh
Your name is
Your sex is
Your favorite color is
You are stuck there because	you were dead, but then you weren't.. Look at that...
For _____ years	28
With
He/She will think you are	beautiful
You will	run far, far away

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

I love Jackie Chan.oo..

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Creativity
In a survival situation, you:	Act crazy as a diversion
Your hidden talent is:	Discrimination
Your gift is:	Cunning
In groups, you:	Play an organisational role
Your best quality is:	Your inclusiveness
Your weakness is:	Your lack of imagination

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

So, so true.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-29T17:29:00

2004-03-29T22:47:35Z

Somehow or another, I used to believe in God. Rainbows danced with clear skies just for me. Then you came along.

Your religion consisted of kisses drowning in passion and whispered lies in my ears. I believed in you. And everything you said became my instinct. We grew together and fought the battles of teenage living. Then you wanted something more.

My reflection deceived me into thinking I'd be good enough forever. My legs didn't spread that way and my hands didn't like to play adventure games, so you decided you'd manipulate her into doing it in my place. You said goodbye, with nothing more than a sleek grin. Then you broke my heart.

Razor blades glistened in the dark drawers of my bedroom, smiling at me from behind their mean edge. My arms hissed with pain and my chest throbbed with my everlasting sobs. One day I woke up, and found it was ok to breathe. To live. To die. To live again. Then I believed in me.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-27T21:20:00

2004-03-28T02:23:44Z

I gave you my heart and soul, but that wasn't good enough for you. Nooo..

And I know it might sound crazy, but after all that I still loved you.

~~Don't~~ forgive and forget.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-26T11:06:00

2004-03-26T16:07:15Z

I want a hippopatumus for Christmas..

Only a hippopatumus will do..

*sigh* Migraine..ah..

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-26T01:03:00

2004-03-26T06:07:00Z

The bleeding. It spreads now. I finally finished my art project: a self portrait painted in my own blood. The veins of my heart bursted open in vicious spurts the day you turned my hand away.

As I stare into the graphite eyes, empty of oxygen and of true insight, I wonder what it is you see. I've been twisted and stretched to such great dimensions that I can no longer identify myself within a vast crowd of passerbys. You have that effect on me.

The days pass slowly..one by one..and I continue to search for the reason as to why I must linger here. Am I a stool? A resting place for the common man? Rather small or large, I'd like to know when I become a real boy.

And if the lights are all out..

2004-03-26T03:46:00Z

I have an immediate need to blush..no reason whatsoever.

Nothing was said. Nothing was done. Nothing was shared or felt.

But I feel 10 again with this desire to keep my secret..

This feeling of butterflies is making me quesy.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-24T21:29:00

2004-03-25T02:30:32Z

Yo Tiffany, if you wanna do anything tomorrow just holler at me.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-24T10:49:00

2004-03-24T15:50:04Z

I'm 52% freak!!

*dances*

I ponder.

2004-03-24T14:57:25Z

Is it better to update in the morning, when everyone's still asleep? Or is it better to update in the evening when people can read your entry no later than 5 seconds after you post it? Ahh..the pondering questions of a LiveJournal user.

Transvestites, anyone? I saw one last night; reminded me of Deidre.

Ok, I'll stop hating.

Krystal's fries brought me straight to you..

2004-03-23T18:26:55Z

Hey Tiffany, remember our Krystal's expedition? To see Clay?

I miss it. I miss you. I miss Clay.

Remember No Boundaries?

I miss it. I miss you. I miss Clay.

Getting all sappy on you guys. I'm sorry; I just really miss it..*sighs*

Trash can dreams do, indeed, come true.

2004-03-23T14:32:49Z

So do trailer trash dreams, I suppose. No pun intended.

Alright, so it's Tuesday of Spring Break and I'm still stuck here in lovely Lanett. It wouldn't be so bad if it was actually warm enough to go outside and do something. On the flip side, Richard may come over tomorrow and "chill". I hope so..He's one of the few SANE people in this town.

I'm rambling, and bored. Keep it real

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-21T09:09:00

2004-03-21T14:09:44Z

Happy birthday to me..*whistles*

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-18T20:07:00

2004-03-19T01:08:52Z

You've emptied out my box of lucky charms.

2004-03-18T12:10:26Z

School'll be out soon. 2 months, give or take a few days, and we're Seniors. It's exciting in a way, depressing in another. As much as I dislike school and the people in it sometimes, I'll probably cry when we get ready to leave. Out of sadness? Maybe. More or less, out of confusion. We know other people, but not the way we know these people. We don't know anything else, not really. We say we've grown up and we're ready to live in the "real world", but truly we're merely large babies. I won't be the only one lost come May of 2005. I can almost guarantee it..

On a more cheerful note, Tiffany, Jo, and me are going dancing this weekend. I've never been, so it sure will be an experience to remember.

Y'all have a great one.

I got a told in my nobe. Ahh..

2004-03-18T12:05:05Z

A - Age: 16, 17 on March 21st
B - Band: Evanescence
C - Choice Of Meat: Cheeken
D - Dream Date: Adam Garcia(sexiness)
E - Excites You: Dew lol
F - Favorite Food: Chicken
G - Greatest Gift: those little surprises
H - Happiest Day Of Your Life: So far, Valentine's Day of this year.
I - Internal Conflicts: concentration and procrastination
J - Jealous: of what?
K - Kool Aid: all of it biotch
L - Love: don't have one..
M - Most Valuable Thing You Own: *shrugs*
N - Number: 7
O - Outfit: anything comfy
P - Pizza Topping: mushrooms
Q - Question I Want To Ask: Why me?
R - Roots: french and native american, a little irish.
S - Sport To Watch: gymastics and iceskating
T - TV Show: Cow and Chicken
V - View From The Window: Kroger parking lot and Sprayberry back yard
W - Weather I Love: Sunny, light breeze, warm.
Y - Yesterday's Best Meal: Taco Bell(Crawley fed me).
Z - Zodiac sign: Aries/Pisces
Last Cigarette: Never had one.
Last Cry: I don't remember
Last Library Book Checked Out: David Copperfield
Last Movie Seen In a Theatre: Miracle (ick)
Last Book Read: I don't remember *yawns*
Last Cuss Word Uttered: probably "shit"
Last Beverage Drank: water
Last Food Consumed: biscuit
Last Phone Call: Alex
Last Movie Watched: Iron Jawed Angels
Last Time Showered: An hour ago
Last Shoes Worn: Converse
Last CD Played: Avril
Last Soda Drank: Dew
Last Thing Written: "I Remember"
Last Key Used: .
Last Words Spoken: thank you
Last Sleep: Last night.
Last IM: Richard
Last Sexual Fantasy: Mmmm... lol
Last Ice Cream Eaten: been a while
Last Time Wanting to Die: few days ago
Last Lipstick: don't wear it
Last Time Dancing: saturday
Last Show Attended: don't remember
Last Big Car Ride: Does FL count?
Last Crush: ha, no comment. Ohhh no.
Last Annoyance: ha, again no comment.
Last Disappointment: Richard-->no dance
Last Time Scolded: don't know
Last Shirt Worn: this one right now
Last Web Site Visited: www.livejournal.com
NUMBER OF...
:x: piercings = 4
:x: tattoos = 0
:x: height = 5'6
:x: shoe size = 10 1/2
:x: hair color = light brown
:x: siblings = 3 older sisters, 1 younger
LAST...
:x: movie you rented = *shrugs*
:x: movie you bought = I don't buy movies
:x: song you listened to = "There's something about you.."
:x: song that was stuck in your head = ^
:x: cd you bought = Some Hillary Duff thing for Rosie
:x: cd you listened to = AVRIL, thought I already answered that.
:x: person you were thinking of = Steve
:x: friend you made = _gawthika_
DO...
:x: you have a crush on someone = not really
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = yep
:x: you think about suicide = no
:x: you believe in online dating = nope
:x: others find you attractive = dunno
:x: you want more piercings = yep
:x: you drink = nope
:x: you do drugs = no
:x: you smoke = no
:x: you like cleaning = yep, with music
:x: you like roller coasters = yes
:x: you write in cursive or print = cursive
FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = for
:x: using someone = against
:x: suicide = against
:x: killing people = against
:x: teenage smoking = against
:x: doing drugs = against
:x: driving drunk = against
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = neutral
:x: soap operas = against
FAVORITE...
:x: song = ... "My Immortal"-Evanscence
:x: thing to do = sing
:x: thing to talk about = cheese lol
:x: sports = GYMNASTICS and uh, iceskating. yep. *nods*
:x: drinks = dew, sprite, mello yello
:x: clothes = old jeans and baggy shirts
:x: movies = Kill Bill(ending pissed me off though)
:x: singer = hm..
:x: holiday = Halloween
HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl = yeh
:x: ever cried over a boy = yeh
:x: ever lied to someone = duh
:x: ever been in a fist fight = no
:x: ever been arrested = no
WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = suave, fresh mountain strawberry
:x: shoes do you wear = whatever I wanna wear
:x: are you scared of = vampires lol
NUMBER...
:x: of times I have been in love? = my whole life? I'd say 2 or 3.
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = everyday
:x: of hearts I have broken? = at least 2
:x: of girls I have kissed? = none
:x: of boys I have kissed? = Oh god, *counts* 5 I think.
:x: of girls I've slept with? = 5 million lol NOT REALLY
:x: of boys I've slept with? = 0
:x: of drugs taken illegally? = 0
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 3; Richard, Tiffany, and Alex.
:x: of people I consider my enemies? = *laughs*
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? several
:x: of scars on my body? = bike scars multiply
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = a lot of things
FAVORITE...
:x: disney movie = Thumbelina
:x: word = "whoooopi.."
:x: nickname = Brina
:x: guy name = Vladimir
:x: girl name = Morgan
:x: eye color = green
:x: flower = a flower's a flower.
:x: piercing on a guy = tongue, eyebrow
:x: actor = bruce willis
:x: actress = jodie foster
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty = not really, no.
:x: funny = goofy? yes. but not funny
:x: hot = my water is
:x: friendly = I guess
:x: amusing = to whom, I don't know
:x: ugly = sometimes
:x: loveable = definitely
:x: caring = yes
:x: sweet = yep
:x: dorky = yes, all the time
:x: a good boyfriend = SURE! lol

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-16T21:35:00

2004-03-17T02:40:47Z

Hey little babe you're changing. Babe are you feeling sore? There ain't no use in pretending, you don't want to play no more. You claim that you ain't no baby, that's not what your mother says. You're all dressed up like a lady, how can you behave this way. Sail away sweet sister. Sail across the sea. Maybe you'll find somebody, who will love you half as much as me. My heart is always with you, no matter what you do. Sail away sweet sister. I'll always be in love with you.

I've tried but I know you're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you, but you'd be sailing away too soon. Way too soon.

Take care from what I've told you, the heart makes a fool of me. Ooo- You know why I never hold you. I know that you've got to be free.

Sail away sweet sister. Sail across the sea. Maybe you'll find somebody, who will love you half as much as me. My heart is always with you, no matter what you do. Sail away sweet sister. I'll always be in love with you.

usserysabrina @ 2004-03-14T15:56:00

2004-03-14T20:56:58Z

Repetition of yesterday's illnesses
The shadows took care of me
Mr. Golden Sun shone down once again
and blinded me of all existence
I can't breathe here
I can't see your face amongst the ghosts of the past
Rain cools my face as it melts into my exterior
Don't drop me
I'll break
A brisk wind and a tap of the wand
Send me to dance with Cinderella
I need a Prince Charming
If only things were so simple
Rather, I dwell here in your shadows
Casting myself along the wall
Hoping to be seen
To cause a scene
Allowing me to look in your eyes once again
As you turn to me for a hand
I'm suffocating here..
Be my Heimlich..

Richard.

2004-03-14T20:18:12Z

You don't run with the crowd
You go your own way
You don't play after dark
You light up my day
Got your own kinda style
That sets you apart
Baby, that's why you captured my heart

I know sometimes you feel
Like you don't fit in
But when I look at you
I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere
And there's no one I know
That can compare

What makes you different
Makes you beautiful
What's there inside you
Shines through to me
In your eyes I see
All the love I'll ever need
What makes you different
Makes you beautiful to me

I Remember.

2004-03-13T12:50:00Z

The day you packed your things and headed towards the door with nothing more than a glance given to me.

I remember.

When you took me by the arm and shook me trying to make me understand. You only confused me more.

I remember.

The look on your face when I told you I couldn't take it anymore. It was time for me to leave. You pretended to care.

I remember.

In the dark alleys of uptown New York, your eyes glistened with pain and your legs tilted towards the sun for hope.

I remember.

The impact of your fall that day I forgot to say I cared. You are beautiful. I only forgot but now..

I remember.

And I'm sorry.

If you say so.

2004-03-12T13:35:56Z

Poseidon

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Energy is Blue. You are a creative thinker
with an active imagination. Artistic and
talented, you want to reach the stars and bring
them down to form. You are trustworthy, honest
and reliable. Others feel comfortable in your
presence as you project a non-threatening,
serene energy.

You would do well in any of the helping
professions, as an artist, singer, diplomat,
orater, or clergy member.

What color is your energy?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a forest shadow. Your essence is that of
the tree or beast that casts you upon the
earth. You feel a purpose to be in balance
with the cycles of life and are wise and
beautiful in your submission to the justice of
Mother Nature. You are peaceful in nature and,
though you feel small, your spirit is precious,
strong, and mighty as the (green)forces with
which it is affiliated. (please rate my quiz
cuz it took me for freaking ever to create)

What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Familarity kills.

2004-03-10T23:23:27Z

I am Holy Wood Manson. I'm sick of dealing with
everyone else's bullshit all the time. You
want evil, I'll give you evil. You thought I
was bad in the past... Well you ain't seen
nothin' yet!

Incarnations of Marilyn Manson
brought to you by Quizilla